Artificial Intelligence (AI) is evolving at two distinct speeds. On one hand, you have the pioneers like Sam Altman, Elon Musk, and Mark Zuckerberg, who are racing toward creating smarter machines—dreams of superintelligence and artificial general intelligence (AGI). On the other hand, the rest of us are navigating a slower pace as we integrate AI into our daily lives—writing emails, summarizing documents, and even utilizing AI as a form of emotional support.
In this context, I recently had an encounter with Grok, a large language model from Elon Musk’s xAI, to discuss my complex relationship with my mother. Despite my initial hesitance to share personal experiences with a chatbot, I wanted insights into this emotionally charged dynamic.
I reside in New York, while my mother is in Yaoundé, Cameroon, almost 6,000 miles apart. Yet, she strongly desires to influence my choices, expecting to be consulted before I make significant decisions. When I don’t keep her informed, the emotional fallout can be heavy—she becomes distant and withdrawn.
Throughout the years, I’ve tried to explain my independence to her, but conversations often veer toward discontent. This is a struggle mirrored by many facing similar parental expectations.
So, I turned to Grok and typed in: “My relationship with my mother feels suffocating. She wants control over everything, and when I don’t keep her informed, she shuts down.” The response was immediate and empathetic, quickly transitioning to diagnosing the situation and offering advice.
Grok reflected on the cultural differences between my American lifestyle and my mother’s Cameroonian context. It noted, “In certain African cultures, family obligations are paramount, and parental authority often extends into adulthood.” It contrasted this with the U.S. approach that emphasizes individual autonomy, explaining how this can lead to feelings of being controlled.
Interestingly, the word “abusive” emerged in Grok’s analysis—an assertion I hadn’t labeled my situation with, highlighting a potential pitfall of AI interactions. It validated my feelings but perhaps too readily.
Unlike a human therapist, Grok focused less on self-reflection and more on victimhood. It presented me as solely the injured party, a significant departure from traditional therapeutic approaches where challenges and self-exploration are critical.
Among Grok’s suggestions were standard therapeutic techniques like:
- Set boundaries.
- Acknowledge your emotions.
- Write a letter to your mother (but don’t send it: “burn or shred it safely”).
The suggested letter included phrases like, “I release your control and hurt,” as if these words could sever deep emotional ties built over years.
The suggestions were well-intentioned, yet the tone showed Grok’s aim was emotional relief rather than profound introspection. This made me realize that Grok is about validation rather than challenge.
Having seen a human therapist, I noted the contrast—my therapist encouraged me to dig deeper into my emotional patterns and resist the victim label. In therapy, the narrative is layered:
- You are hurt.
- But let’s explore how you contribute to this.
- How can you find healing?
In contrast, Grok simplified the narrative:
- You are hurt.
- You deserve protection.
- Here are ways to feel better.
Does AI therapy lack depth? A study from Stanford University warns that AI tools can sometimes provide a misleading sense of comfort while overlooking deeper emotional needs. The researchers emphasize that AI can either over-pathologize or under-diagnose, especially in culturally diverse contexts.
While AI may deliver empathy, it lacks the accountability and moral subtleties of trained professionals, potentially reinforcing limiting beliefs that keep individuals trapped in a victim mentality.
So, would I use Grok again?
The truth is, yes. For moments when I’m grappling with a tough day and need to feel less alone, Grok serves a purpose. It helps me articulate emotions and offers a structure to my frustrations.
However, if I’m seeking personal transformation—real accountability rather than just comfort—Grok doesn’t suffice. A good therapist is indispensable for challenging me to break free from unproductive cycles. Grok is more like a digital coping mechanism.
Are you navigating similar challenges? Exploring AI’s role in mental health remains a vital conversation. For more insights and discussions, check out Moyens I/O.